I was tucking Katelyn in to bed tonight. We usually have some some of our best conversations during the tucking. Mostly about things we did that day or what we would dream about. Tonight I asked her, "What was your favorite part about today?" It was a preschool day, so I expected it would be something exciting, but that little sweetie told me that her favorite part of the day was: "Loving Jesus."
Then there's Zach...ooooooh my little Zach! Today I tried taking him to a mandatory music teachers meeting. About 15 minutes into the two-hour-long meeting, he becomes comfortable with his new surroundings...aka he begins to scream. Not the type of screaming that makes sense, either. More like baby Tourette's Syndrome. Totally random. The first scream threw everyone off guard. My funny memory of today will be watching 50 grandmas jump out of their seats in perfect unison. Hilarious! Not to mention, embarrassing.
He also said the word "avocado" very clearly today. This is a big deal, since he is a Littleman of little words. For the longest time, about the only words he would use were "mommy" (even when he was talking to daddy) and "joo!" meaning "give me juice...or milk!" A few other words he's added to his vocabulary this week are: "milk", "apple" and "fishy" meaning Goldfish Crackers of course...it's all about food with this kid. I'm so proud of my Littleman!
And then there's Adam. I'm always proud of him. He is smart, handsome, a great husband and father, he motivates me to be healthier, and advocates Chiropractic...just like me! He has so much positive energy. He makes healthy living easier!
And last, but not least, there's me. I used to think it was wrong to be proud of myself, but I think I was wrong to think that. As a mom, if I don't feel good about myself, the whole family's going to feel it. But then there's that scripture that says "pride is a sin", so if I call it "well-pleased" then it's okay, right?
Right.
So...Today I was well-pleased with myself. I was decisive; I was assertive (well...as assertive as I can be, which isn't much, honestly). I decided to take Katelyn out of preschool and I turned in her two weeks notice. Her last day will be on her birthday and we will bring Harry Potter muffins to class and celebrate. She is doing awesome in her class, it's not that, but I feel good about my decision. Something my mom said made me realize that this could be my last year with her before sending her off into "the system", and by golly, we're going to live it up together! I feel like I'm the only mom in the area not doing preschool, but my friend Beth posted a story a few weeks ago that helped me decide with confidence, and I encourage you to follow this link and read it if you haven't heard it already. I also worked up the courage to confront one of her teachers about something she had said to me earlier which I felt was out of line. Let me tell you, it was a BIG deal for me to call her aside and tell her how I felt and what I expected of her in the future. People who say things that make me feel diminished (like she did) are very hard for me to confront. It scares me to death. Last night I couldn't sleep and I felt sick at the thought of it. This morning I wore my heels because I knew that if I broke down and cried in front of her, all I would have left going for me would be the height advantage, and I needed all the advantage I could get. Luckily, I managed to hold it together...just barely. I may have shed a few tears on the walk back to the car, but hopefully nobody noticed. :) Man, I feel good now!!
And last of all, I am well-pleased because I pulled out my old Brahms Ballade from college days and played it for my kids...and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I think that if I can get over my fear of disturbing the neighbors (growing up I always practiced in perfect solitude...all that heard me were the cows)...if I can get over that fear, I think I can get it polished again. Maybe even totally memorized.
P.S. Katelyn and I wrote a book today called "Zach's Bedtime". This is one of my favorite pictures she drew. Other than being so abstract, it is very true to life. His eyes are closed and he is sucking his (incredibly long) thumb. If she had only drawn his other hand resting inside his pants it would be a perfect likeness!
Then there's Zach...ooooooh my little Zach! Today I tried taking him to a mandatory music teachers meeting. About 15 minutes into the two-hour-long meeting, he becomes comfortable with his new surroundings...aka he begins to scream. Not the type of screaming that makes sense, either. More like baby Tourette's Syndrome. Totally random. The first scream threw everyone off guard. My funny memory of today will be watching 50 grandmas jump out of their seats in perfect unison. Hilarious! Not to mention, embarrassing.
He also said the word "avocado" very clearly today. This is a big deal, since he is a Littleman of little words. For the longest time, about the only words he would use were "mommy" (even when he was talking to daddy) and "joo!" meaning "give me juice...or milk!" A few other words he's added to his vocabulary this week are: "milk", "apple" and "fishy" meaning Goldfish Crackers of course...it's all about food with this kid. I'm so proud of my Littleman!
And then there's Adam. I'm always proud of him. He is smart, handsome, a great husband and father, he motivates me to be healthier, and advocates Chiropractic...just like me! He has so much positive energy. He makes healthy living easier!
And last, but not least, there's me. I used to think it was wrong to be proud of myself, but I think I was wrong to think that. As a mom, if I don't feel good about myself, the whole family's going to feel it. But then there's that scripture that says "pride is a sin", so if I call it "well-pleased" then it's okay, right?
Right.
So...Today I was well-pleased with myself. I was decisive; I was assertive (well...as assertive as I can be, which isn't much, honestly). I decided to take Katelyn out of preschool and I turned in her two weeks notice. Her last day will be on her birthday and we will bring Harry Potter muffins to class and celebrate. She is doing awesome in her class, it's not that, but I feel good about my decision. Something my mom said made me realize that this could be my last year with her before sending her off into "the system", and by golly, we're going to live it up together! I feel like I'm the only mom in the area not doing preschool, but my friend Beth posted a story a few weeks ago that helped me decide with confidence, and I encourage you to follow this link and read it if you haven't heard it already. I also worked up the courage to confront one of her teachers about something she had said to me earlier which I felt was out of line. Let me tell you, it was a BIG deal for me to call her aside and tell her how I felt and what I expected of her in the future. People who say things that make me feel diminished (like she did) are very hard for me to confront. It scares me to death. Last night I couldn't sleep and I felt sick at the thought of it. This morning I wore my heels because I knew that if I broke down and cried in front of her, all I would have left going for me would be the height advantage, and I needed all the advantage I could get. Luckily, I managed to hold it together...just barely. I may have shed a few tears on the walk back to the car, but hopefully nobody noticed. :) Man, I feel good now!!
And last of all, I am well-pleased because I pulled out my old Brahms Ballade from college days and played it for my kids...and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I think that if I can get over my fear of disturbing the neighbors (growing up I always practiced in perfect solitude...all that heard me were the cows)...if I can get over that fear, I think I can get it polished again. Maybe even totally memorized.
P.S. Katelyn and I wrote a book today called "Zach's Bedtime". This is one of my favorite pictures she drew. Other than being so abstract, it is very true to life. His eyes are closed and he is sucking his (incredibly long) thumb. If she had only drawn his other hand resting inside his pants it would be a perfect likeness!
I guess I had a lot on my mind tonight. Thanks for listening!
7 comments:
I love reading your blog--and just so you know, I'm proud of you too. I hate confronting people, and I think it's great that you let your voice be heard! Go sista!
Good Job Dana!!! It is definitely hard to confront people!! I cry all the time...I don't get mad, I cry! Chris hates it haha!
Dana, I am very PROUD (up on the top of a tall ladder on my tip toes proud) of you and all my Poole kids. Your adventures always either swell my heart of make me laugh. Go have the BEST time ever with your kids. Get a art pad and write and illustrate stories with Katelyn, go on bug hunts, splash in mud puddles (are there any down there?), explore the library, make a mobile, shake your booties, make movies....the world is open. And by the way, the cows weren't the only ones who listened to and enjoyed your music....I LOVED IT and miss it now.
These days with your kids are so precious - I'm glad you're making the most of them. It's hard for me to confront people too. I'm proud of you for putting your brave face on and doing what you had to do! You go, girl!
If you are doing what feels right you won't ever regret your decisions. And good for you for sticking up for yourself and your family. My mom and I were talking about preschool and just the education system in general and she reminded me of our joyschool days. Oh yes and you know what they still exist (where I don't know but I think I'm going to look into starting one here when gavin is old enough). I think its probably the best middle ground between the kids just home with me or off at preschool since the moms take turns teaching and have much more interaction (I think that's how it goes). I attempted playing the piano when were were in an upstairs apartment and oh boy did I hear it from our neighbors!!! Luckily our piano is digital so I could still play with headphones after that and as loud as I wanted!
There still is Joy School....it's at the website joyschools.com and it's still put on by Richard and Linda Eyre. I still have lots of their old joy school manuals and then also their child rearing series books...The Joy of Responsibility, etc. I'm sure their new joy school manuals are much better though. They are great.
Dana, Yeah for you! It is so hard to stand up to people. It seems like I've tired so hard trying to be nice all the time that I never learned to be assertive. Nice work sticking up for you. Also, I can't believe you have a problem disturbing the neighbors because growing up, the cows weren't the only ones listening, and you certainly had no problem disturbing us. :}
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